BANGUS—Danny Ray, A Bangus University freshman intentionally swallowed an iMac mouse, according to his roommate and three others who witnessed the incident. The residential supervisor Gavin Peters told Bangus: “It was late. I was sleeping. The dorm was quiet and everything was cool then Brian knocked on my door. Or should I say ‘pounded’. No, ‘pounded is way too harsh. It was just a knock. He had obviously been drinking. He said Danny swallowed a mouse. He was chuckling. I had trouble at first understanding what he was talking about. I thought he meant like a real ‘mouse’ because there’s always mice running all over the place because no one picks up their pizza boxes and garbage. But when I found out that this kid swallowed a computer mouse, I started to panic. I mean, something like that could do all sorts of damage and it was and still is my responsibility to make sure everyone on the 9th floor of the Al Waxman Residence are safe at all times, except when I go home for holidays, then the place can burn to the ground for all I care.”
The student refused all offers from his friends to pile him into the trunk of someone’s Honda Civic to take him to nearby Bangus Memorial Hospital.
“That dude’s got one big throat. Sure, I dared him, but holy shit, we’re always daring people to do crazy stuff. He just swallowed it down with some Moosehead and sat there like if nothing happened,” Brian claims. “I knew that this was definitely the coolest thing I ever saw, and man, I’ve seen a lot of cool things. He didn’t even burp. He just sat on his bed made from his milk crates and began cramming for a math midterm. Sure, he’s smiling now, but just wait till that thing comes out.”
Danny Ray from nearby Redville claims that the whole thing is “no big deal. It’s a gift, I guess.
I’ve swallowed calculators, small globes and a hockey puck.”
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