Monday, May 10, 2010
Bangus County Celebrates Some Type of Anniversary with Bubble Clown
Originally known as ‘Dunkle’, the rural community of Bangus County was first inhabited just a little south of the watershed and in a time zone known to few, and acknowledged by no one, but the Rexaconta Indians who used the Dunkle River as an important transportation corridor for many centuries. European settlement exploded after the discovery of the curing powers of battered seal, and owl oil. But the new voyageurs returned to Britain as quickly as they arrived, many choosing to make the swim across the Atlantic Ocean rather than wait for the three scheduled water taxis run by the Rexaconta. Disillusioned British Colonists and profiteers described the Northern Ontario environment has harsh, sparse, and “kind of like hell on earth,” partly due to the mosquitoes, and black bears eating every third colonist.
After British surveyor and opium addict, Sir Wallace Reeves IV reported back to British Royalty, it was decreed by King Charles I, that, in 1642, Bangus would become a northern penal colony for shifty British Disloyalist criminals. As Britain was teeming with shifty malcontents, they arrived weekly.
In 1843, The Reverend Jim Bangus, sentenced to the King Charles Dunkle Penal Colony and Casino, for dealing in blasphemy and corn liquor, had organized a bloody revolt against the authorities of the colony. After a nine day riot and general unrest, the Town of Dunkle, owned by Britain, washed their hands of the property electing to let the criminals free to do what they want.
Reverend Jim Bangus, self proclaimed prophet, declared the county be renamed Bangus and shot six goats in his own honour.
Today, Bangus has a few bakeries, a portable mill, and thanks to the Dunkle River, hosts the popular upriver canoe race that sees the population double over a weekend in July.
Famous Bangus Residents:
John Tesh
Nancy Spongen
Tiger Woods
Charles “Tex” Watson
Pope Bernadine
Craigslist founder Craig