Canada's Largest Beaver Dam is Really a Meth Lab and Digital Recording Studio

BANGUS COUNTY - Canadians and people from across the world have shown an unprecedented level of interest in what is believed to be the world's largest beaver dam located just of Bangus County just past the Beer Store. But with the sudden interest and fascination comes unsettling claims of drugs, the flesh trade, cigarette smuggling and a subversive recording studio.

Bangus fact-checker Mississippi Gary has confirmed through sources that the dam has been under surveillance for the past eleven years by the RCMP and Bangus Police (codename Project Brenda) and that the world spotlight on the structure, which some believe dates back to 29 AD, is threatening to compromise the investigation. Mississippi Gary says: "I know for a fact that they [the beavers] are cooking meth, making booze, adult films, and kick ass reggae music. My source says that they are even selling counterfeit pork byproducts, antidepressants and guns. Damn! These beavers are rock stars!"