"Some ganja. No, wait. Never mind. Nothing. Well, maybe some rum, but definitely no ganja. Well, maybe just a little. Oh, and some fruit."
"My lack of identity."
“Just my profound apologies for everything.”
“Does my trout count?”
“A chainsaw.”
“My Best of Journey CD”
"Just years and years of regret and a profound sense of melancholy."
“My brother’s kidney and a few packs of smokes in a bowling bag for carry-on.”
“Three swollen testicles. It’s a long story. Please don’t ask for the details.”
“I bought this cute little Brazilian baby in an open market. The lady said it would be no problem and if there was all I’d have to say is that Lady Divia said it was cool.”
“Yeah, diarrhea and a ticket for public mischief.”
“Two goats and a bag filled with ox tails.”
"My undying love of unicorns. Oh, and I have a prosthetic eye."
“Just some forged travel documents and this really sharp pointy stick. I think you’ll see all my paperwork is in order.”
“A snowplow for my fourwheeler and a bride for my brother. They were both on sale.”
“Tuberculosis.”
“High quality and potent bull semen. I’m starting a breeding business. Hang on, it’s here in my pocket. Oh
shit, the zip lock ripped.”
“ A detailed map of a Wal Mart in Pembroke.”
"Three pairs of new slacks."
"Some weird voodoo stuff that this lady gave me for my bad back."
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