“Uncle Wallace? That bastard. The first time I met him, he ended up stealing my wife and shooting my kid’s dog. It was a terrible day. My kid really loved that dog.” Randy ‘B.B.’ Buckey
“He’s got a pretty gruff exterior that can really gnaw away at your nerves after a while. Especially if you happen to be locked up with him. Please don’t put my name on this, okay?” John Deacon
“Good lord. Off the top of my head? Heh heh! I was just a kid and he lived next door on this farm. He and his buddy got me drunk on cheap red wine. The cheapest. He used to buy it in ten gallon drums which would usually be good for a few days. Uncle Wallace, that’s what everyone called him, he wasn’t my real uncle. I still don’t even know the fool’s last name. Anyway, him and his crony buddy passed out in the cow pasture and in the morning, a herd of cows, trampled over both of them. Uncle Wallace slept through the whole thing while the other guy, well, uh, a cow stepped on his throat and had his larynx crushed which ended up okay because he became famous for a while for his baritone singing voice. Uncle Wallace managed his singing career for a few months before the guy wised up.” Mitchell Miner
“He got one green eye and one blue eye. He the devil. The devil on earth. He put baby in sister’s belly.” Barnaby Clozier
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