936 CONFIRMED INJURED AND 6 TOTALLY BROKEN IN WHAT DRIVER OF CHURCH CALLS ‘DIVINE MISHAP’.
BANGUS COUNTY—A late-model Episcopalian church, parked in front of a Wendy’s lurched forward smashing through its front window late Saturday.
“It was terrible,” claims one eyewitness. “I had just sat down to have a burger when I saw this huge church bearing down on me. I yelled for everyone to get the hell out of the way.”
Because the incident happened so quickly, many people were unable to get out of harm’s way. Medical teams were greeted by mayhem, mayonnaise and moans. The restaurant, just recently opened, was reduced to a pile of smoldering rubble. The Episcopalian church claims that the church “slipped gears” and when it pressed the gas to back out of the crowded parking lot, it became lodged in DRIVE, rocketing the church into the building.
Nine staff members remain unaccounted for. This is the latest in a string of incidents involving breakaway churches. Last May, a Pentecostal church ran over a crowd of marathon runners just east of the Isle of Lillian. April 2008 saw a Synagogue back into a swimming pool. There were no injuries in that incident. In a more sensational accident, a mobile Catholic confessional struck down new Canadian singing sensation, Bryan Adams, who was dining with family, friends at an Arby’s in Vancouver.
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