LARRY’S CHICKEN KICKIN’ FARM.
Mad? Frustrated? Has you wife left you for some other guy with a steady job? Are you not getting the respect you deserve from your boss? Don’t fret. Don’t snap. Don’t take it out on the dog or that poor woman trying to sell natural gas door-to-door at ten-thirty at night. Come on out to Larry’s Chicken Kickin’ Farm and relieve some of that built-up stress the holistic way. Kick a chicken. Like chickens? Feel bad for even thinking of kicking a chicken? Well, don’t. Chicken kicking has been approved by Leonardo Di Caprio, Roger Daltry, Rosie, O’Donnell, Dr Oz, Stephen Hawking, Alice Cooper, and television’ Neil Patrick Harris, so you know you’re in good, humane company.
One half hour session: $26.50 and you can kick all the grade ‘A’ chickens you can get your feet on. It’s healthier than a murderous rampage and with half the effort of lugging around large cumbersome canvas bags of legally registered automatic weapons.
By appointment only. As this is totally illegal, just slip a note under Angus Headquarters door and it’ll get to Larry and he’ll send word through some kid on a mule.
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