Last Monday, as the world tuned in to the season finale of Lost, Willy was struck in the heart after leaning on his pneumatic nail gun. "I knew something wasn't right. The nail, a real big son of a bitch, was sticking out of my chest. Now, I've changed enough tires to know that if I pull the nail out it will be trouble so I got all my tools together to make sure everything was within arms reach, eh. I had my rubber patch and my glue and bone saw and everything, then I pulled out the nail and patched the hole in my heart then drove to the hospital to make sure I did it right."Doctors attending to Mr Ames were baffled as to just how he was able to remain conscious, open his own chest cavity, extract the nail, stem the bleeding long enough to apply the rubber patch, close up his own chest cavity, tidy up his workshop, take a quick shower, change his clothes, have a small supper consisting of a bacon and tomato sandwich with some cranberry juice before driving himself to the hospital after dropping off some rented DVDs. Medical professionals attribute the miraculous outcome on the tenacity of the backyard mechanic, and his can-do attitude.
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