Bangus Foreign Affairs - The World Out There

Bangus Online welcomes our new Foreign Affairs Correspondent, Chris Reese who has graciously offered to work for blue Popsicles. We first met Mr Reese after calling the police reporting that there was a guy doing Tokyo Drifts on a bicycle out front of Bangus HQ. It took thirty cops and six volunteer firemen to take him down.



The World Out There

Where: Europe
What: Economic Crisis!
The European economy is collapsing. People are going on strike. Governments are defaulting on debts and people died on a bank bombing in Greece. Experts say that the economic collapse is due to financial problems. President Sarkozy of France banged his fist on a table and shouted at a meeting.

Where: Asia
What: Sea Serpents
A large sea serpent was found on a beach in Asia. It has red hair and is a long, fish-like kind of eel. Buddhists revere these as 'Nagas'. On a Buddhist website a Naga is shown floating around in space and twisting its head as it floats towards Buddha. The animals are edible and sometimes swim up rivers to eat weeds.

Where: Africa
What: Big Soccer Match
A large soccer tournament will be held in Africa. Lots of soccer players and fans will play soccer or watch soccer while drinking beer and wearing scarves. The tournament is called the World Cup and there are 32 teams representing their home countries. There are no fights and there are only a few cheaters. The most famous soccer cheater was Diego Maradona who played for Argentina. He punched the ball with his hand into the English net and the referee didn't see it. Later, he called it the "Hand of God". Maradona now coaches Argentina and they totally creamed Team Canada last Saturday.

Where: South America
What: Washroom made in shape of lady bums!
A unique design is shocking patrons of a woman's washroom in South America. In front of the sinks are plastic shapes of womenfolk's bottoms! The patrons of these things have to stand in front of these things while washing their hands. The bottom have legs attached to them and they are wearing high heels and look naked.

Where: North America
What: No new oil spills
There have not been any new oil spills on the shores of the U.S. in over a month This finding is the result of painstaking research on my behalf. It seems that there are pristine beaches on most coastlines of the USA. The good news is overshadowed by the record breaking spill in the Gulf of Mexico. The spill is the largest in history and is destroying wetlands and fish in a 100 mile swath of Louisiana. Over 100 turtles have died. Fortunately, there are no similar spills on the east or west coats of the U.S.