From the desk of the Foreign Affairs Department - The World Out There by Chris Rees

Where:Europe
What: Debt

Europe is still deeply in debt, say monetary experts. Europe is so deeply in debt that it would take 1000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 years for the average European to pay off this debt. Fortunately there are millions of people in Europe so the debt should be paid off in 25 years. Europe consists of France, Germany and other countries. Sarah Palin was seen swimming in a hotel pool in the Europe hotel in downtown Dallas Texas last Friday. Hugo Chavez also likes to swim.

Where: Africa
What: Mad in the face - Condemns Israel Strike
African countries today condemned Israel for some form of strike. Egypt, Uganda, Ethiopia and Libya expressed outrage. Other African countries expressed condemnation. Researchers at Bangus are unaware the reasons for the shock and outrage or what kind of strike it was. In other African news, a large animal was spotted by a zoologist. The species of animal is unknown to Bangus.

Where: North America
What: Sarah Palin is right! Drill baby Drill!

Scientists have determined that Sarah Palin is correct when she says Drill baby Drill. A huge amount of oil has been discovered in the Gulf of Mexico near Louisiana and that has oil companies excited about the possibility of finding more. The current oil is mixed with dead turtles so it cannot be used. However, oil company officials say that other oil may be available for refining. Ms Palin was wearing a shiny black Chanel two piece ensemble with her trademark hairdo and glasses.

Where:Asia
What: Asia remains the worlds largest continent


Asia is still larger than Africa, Europe or the Americas. It is several times larger than Australia or Antarctica. The reason for Asia’s largeness is directly related to the largeness of both Russia and China, says a geographer.

Where:South America
Who: Hugo Chavez
What: Still fat


Hugo Chavez, president of Venezuela remains the fattest leader in South America. The reasons for his fatness have to do with tacos, enchiladas and burritos. One commentator said that Chavez is so fat that “when he broke his leg recently, salsa sauce came out” A spokesman for Chavez said the president wasn’t fat but merely four feet too short.