BANGUS, PLEASE RENOVATE MY PIMP AND WHEN YOU’RE DONE, CAN YOU SLAP HIM AROUND A BIT?

REGINA—“My pimp Reggie needs a major pimping,” complains Maureen Thompson of Regina, Saskatchewan. “He’s totally outdated and now he’s an embarrassment. I admit that he did look kind of hot in 1974 and he drove that Lincoln Continental but times have changed and it just doesn’t work for me any more.”

When Bangus Online heard of Maureen’s dilemma, newly hired resident budget fashionista and self-styled Valentino, Horst Maximilian Müeller flew direct to pimp Maureen’s pimp. The transformation was filmed by CITY TV for a Much Music pilot program entitled “Pimp My Pimp.”

“After a quick trip to Zellers and Budget Hair Cuts, Reggie is now my greatest victory,” beams Horst. “He is now ready to join the 21st century.”

Maureen says she couldn’t be happier with the transformation. “Reggie looks amazing. Thank you Angus. Thank you.