BANGUS ONLINE - MOONBEAM, ON—Six ill-tempered otters armed with Russian machine guns stormed a bed and breakfast in this small town north of Smoothrock Falls, demanding Pogo's, a TV with a Beta machine and endless rounds of strong homemade lager.
“We’ve been operating our B&B for years without there being any kind of trouble. We were not expecting this,” claims owner and operator of the Moonbeam Inn - Gail Farmster. “I think they were high on the drugs that all the kids are talking about. They just came in and ate everything in our fridge then fell asleep on a pull-out futon after watching a Cheech & Chong double-feature. While they were asleep, Henri, my husband shot the group's leader right in the face. The other five woke up pretty damn quick and just took off. I don’t think they were from town. Probably from Kapuskasing. Lord knows, anything goes up there!”