Bangus Online's Big Beautifu Bag of Mail

I was at a party at my friend’s and we were playing trivia and a pal started to act like a jerk and was arguing about who played the evil Nazi in Raiders of the Lost Ark. We kind of got fed up of him so I told him to “go piss up a rope”. He said that he made up this saying and I was copying him. Now, I’ve never heard him say this but I do admit to having heard it before. Where does this saying originate from? The only reason I’m writing into Bangus asking about this is that not many people make time for their readers. I’ve written to Outdoor Canada, CHIRP and a variety of other Canadian magazines asking for their help on this but no one has responded. Can you help a gal out?

Corrine Langley
Lively, ON

Ed. Hey Corrine - the colloquialism “go piss up a rope” dates back to the cradle of civilization—and can be traced to Moses but most famously - Mother Theresa of Calcutta

Hello Bangus Online. I’d like to just say that I stopped by the HQ in beautiful downtown Bangus County to see about getting a t shirt and I was absolutely stunned at the inner workings of Bangus. It was like a typhoon tore through the place but what was truly weird was that even though all the doors were open and there was some weird clarinet music blaring, there was no one in sight. There were a few unattended candles burning and the computers were on. I snooped around and just waited. Well, I ended up waiting for eleven hours and still no one. The candles burnt themselves out but the clarinet music just kept repeating so I just left the cheque tacked to the weird picture of  Superman. I hope you got it and you should think about locking up when you’re not around. I was kind of looking forward to seeing Mississippi Gary. He’s a real trooper to put up with all the crap. I enjoy the site.

Beulah Parks—Bangus County, ON
beulahparks@aol.net

Ed. Dear Beulah. I was in the bathroom and I sent Mississippi Gary home early to think long and hard about what he had done. Sorry we missed you and I can’t ind any cheque. Please send five more. Thanks.