WHERE: NORTH AMERICA
WHAT: LARGE PROTEST IN TORONTO
World leaders met in Toronto for the G20 conference amid large protests and a huge police presence. Over 900 people were arrested by police after smashing windows and setting fire to police cars. A huge contingent of anarchist swarmed around the city wreaking havoc. More peaceful protesters displayed their outrage by carrying signs and chanting slogans. Most of the complaints related to Angel Merkel’s appearance in the G20 bikini contest.
WHERE: AFRICA
WHAT: WORLD CUP: "IT’S OFFICIAL TOP TEAMS SUCK!"
FIFA, the international soccer authority released a statement today on the quality of the top teams in the match. The statement reads: “The following teams suck: England, Brazil, Argentina and France.” Canada doesn’t suck as it failed to make the tournament.
WHERE: U.K.
WHAT: PUPPY DIES IN TRAGIC MISUNDERSTANDING.
A puppy was killed in the UK after a tragic misunderstanding. A young boy had asked his father what happens when his puppy dies. His father is reported to have replied that the puppy would be buried in a box in the garden and the boy and his friends could then all come by and have some ice cream and sing songs to remember the dog. The police said the puppy died approximately 30 minutes later.
WHERE: JAPAN
WHAT: MAN CONTRACTS HERPES FROM ARTIFICIAL LOVE DOLL
A Japanese man contracted herpes from Japan Love Doll Inc. The company apologized and said the doll had been made too realistic and future models would be adjusted.
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