Here at the newly opened Bangus Private Health Clinic & Smoke Shop, we provide quick access to fairly competent medical care at a price everyone can afford! We have a cot, a reconditioned CT scan / photocopier combo (brain scans and colour copies for a loonie) and one in-house Registered Canon Copier Engineer just waiting to take your vitals. We have modeled our private clinic for your convenience so why not enjoy a Pepsi from one of our three vending machines while you wait. Hey, do you like Elvis? We have world famous Elvis impersonator, Wayne Bonham, performing six shows daily. Why not let Angus clear up that unforgivable backlog of cardiac surgeries. You need good healhcare now, goddammit! Not in nine months!
Remember, July is knee replacement month. Book now and recieve a free endoscope (with coupon).
At the Bangus Health Clinic & Smoke Shop, we believe that your health is something worth jeopardizing for money. We have a brand new tool box overflowing with MRI things and plumbers tape. Why not laser prostate removal for the guys and Botox™ for the ladies? Did someone say “Cut-rate vasectomies”? Yeah, we can do that at 10% on-site financing. We can also “pimp your ride” or just stuff a turkey for $19.99. No appointment necessary. BYOB.
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