Bangus Township, ON—Bruce McKinlay Jr. is in Bangus General Hospital where he remains in critical condition after being shot nine times in the face with a 22. calibre rifle. McKinlay, a local agitator, is no stranger to the local constabulary and sources within the Bangus Mountain Cops Detachment confirmed to Bangus Online that McKinlay Jr. has a lengthy record having been arrested in the past for distilling corn liquor, eating fire without the proper permits and shaking down school kids for their lunch money. Last Saturday, police were called when neighbours heard shots fired from the mountains where McKinlay had organized an illicit high-stakes of Jenga™ “the blockbuster of all stacking games. A spokesman from the detachment states that they are treating the unfortunate incident as an accident and called a preemptive end to the press conference.
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