Read Reed Reid Wreed

Hey. What are you reading? What are you planning on pleading on the four counts of gross weeding and nefarious cloud seeding? Oh yeah, and what are you reading again? If you don't plan on cloud seeding or gross weeding and do plan on some holiday reading but you don't want to bother asking Oprah as she is a hideous monster, may I humbly suggest the following four books. They are real good and full of words that alone make very little sense, but when strung together makes for a real good time.

Notice how all the covers are left justified? That's some cool blog shit layout right there for you. You're welcome.

Frank Zappa, a fishhook through the eye, internal medicine, and the job search in the new millennium

“He’s a walking contradiction, partly truth, partly fiction.” - Kris Kristofferson describing his neighbour, Yogrish the Pilgrim

“It has never mattered to me that thirty million people might think I'm wrong. The number of people who thought Hitler was right did not make him right. Why do you necessarily have to be wrong just because a few million people think you are?” - Frank Zappa, quoted from The Real Frank Zappa Book

Hello friends and that dear, loyal reader. Hey, check this out: I don’t have a lot of leisure time to dedicate to this week’s column. Actually, this week, this missive shall be referred to as a ‘blog’ for no significant reason other than I can use this term to pad my resume. I am now a published blogger, not to be confused with a logger, a term which sounds similar, but is a very different profession.

I’m currently looking for a job, and I seem to be in pretty good company. I am not serious about the blogger thing though. Misrepresenting myself on paper is more than a little pointless. To brush up on my job-seeking skills I have been applying for about sixteen jobs a day - from fitness trainer to bush pilot, and everything in between. But today’s workforce has shape-shifted - the rules have changed with the internet and globalization of the economy, forever altering the way people search for work, and the lengths people will go to get a job. If there’s not a job out there, I say make one and cross your fingers. I have just applied for small business funding to open my own wrestling school. I don’t know how to wrestle, but for three hundred dollars I will let you pick me up, spin me around a few times then body slam me through a glass coffee table. Included with the price of tuition: a juice box and sandwich. Or, maybe I can teach Hungarian? They say it’s nice this time of year on Jupiter. Maybe there are more employment opportunities out there.