Part I
P R E - B O O M
P R E - B O O M
“I think I can fix it.”
“Oh, I don’t think so honey.”
“No, Shirl, really. I don’t think it’s that big a deal.”
“That’s what you said about fixing the filter for the pool.”
“No, this is different. This will be a piece of cake.”
“Please, Earl, come on. Let’s just call the guy to come and have a look at it.”
“For this? Are you kidding me? That guy's a flake. It’s just this little thing right here.”
“You don’t even know what that little thing is.”
“It’s a regulator. I Googled it goddammit!”
“Jesus, Earl, you have no idea what a regulator is. Please, let’s just call the serviceman and have it done right the first time. They’re licensed to work on this.”
“You know how much those guys charge? Here’s pass me the soldering iron and a few of those paperclips. Okay, now see this wire here? I think that’s part of the problem, too.”
“This is not a good idea. I’ll be in the neighbour’s bomb shelter.”
“Your faith in my capabilities is really touching.”
“Earl, please don’t.”
“I’m sure it’s just this part here that’s a little bent.”
“The regulator, right?
“Exactly, so if ―”“I’m leaving before you blow us all to kingdom come.”
P A R T II
P O S T - B O O M
“Mrs Berubé, you’re husband Earl is a very lucky man.”
“No doctor. Actually, my husband is a very lucky idiot. Can I go in and see him?”
“We’ll he’s still smouldering and pretty heavily sedated. He also smells something awful. Now, his face is swollen and he will have a grotesque grimace for the next few months, but all things considered his condition looks worse than it actually is. From what I understand, the force of the explosion actually was such that he was blown skyward, whereas the huge balls of flame were blown outward. His injuries could have been much more severe. And as the explosion tore off his clothes, the burns are actually quite clean and should heal, leaving, hopefully, very little scar tissue aside from his face and buttocks.”
“He blew up the basement.”
“He needs you now. Go to him.”
“We just bought a pool table.”
“He’ll need all your love and support.”
“My ceramic workshop was down there. All gone.”
“Yes, by all means, go to him, Mrs Berubé. You can help him get through this trying time. He may be depressed for a while but you must be strong enough for the both of you. Mrs Berubé? His room is that way. Mrs Berubé? Where are you going? Mrs Berubé?”
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