THE WORLD OUT THERE

FROM THE HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE DESK OF MISTER CHRIS REES - BANGUS FOREIGN AFFAIRS CORRESPONDENT AND THREE-TIME NUDE SPELLING BEE CHAMPION OF THE ALMAGUIN NETHER REGIONS ON THE THAMES

Where: Australia:
What: WHITNEY HOUSTON EATING FOR TWO


Whitney Houston is eating for two! Yesterday Whitney had two plates of poutine, chicken fingers, a greek salad, steak and onions, spaghetti and a large diet coke during her concert tour of Australia and New Zealand. Whitney is not pregnant but has a daughter in New Jersey, USA. It is not known why she ate so much but Bangus researchers suggest she has the munchies.

Where: North America
What: GIANT OIL SPILL IN WASHINGTON

A giant oil spill has been spotted in Washington D.C. It stretches from Pennsylvania Ave. to the borders of Maryland on the west, Georgetown on the south. Bangus could not determine the cause of the spill but researchers believe it was caused by journalism. The spill will return with it’s family in November 2012 to Indonesia, where it was born.

Where: Europe
What: ROTTWEILER PUTS OUT FIRES

A French motorist has trained his dog to put out fires. Jacque Menard parked his brand new BMW in one of the most crime-ridden banlieus of Paris with his Rottweiler “Fang” in the back seat. At that moment a tough looking youth came and demanded 10 euros to protect it from vandalism for an hour. “That’s alright, I’ve got a Rottweiler in the back” said Menard. “Oh so he puts out fires does he?” replied the youth. …. A few hours later Pouffie did just that, saving the vehicle from total destruction by a feral gang of hooligans.

Where: Asia
What: CONFUSION OVER CLOCK

Two psychiatric patients in China were confused over the placement of a clock on the wall of their asylum. The clock seemed to be accurate and functioning properly. “Is that clock on the wall right?” asked psychiatric patient Feng Chiu Lee? “Yes it is” replied the chief psychiatrist Deng Wu. “Then what’s it doing in here?” replied Feng. Bangus reporters are still working to follow up if the clock was removed.

Where: South America
What: CUBAN DOCTORS DISCOVER CURE FOR %$#@^&*&*%$$ CONTENT BLOCKED CONTENT BLOCKED CONTACT BLOCKED CONTENT BLOCKED CONTENT BLOCKED CONTENT BLOCKED