BANGUS ONLINE — Ask some of those in attendance at the 20th annual McAllister family reunion in Westmeath Township what they remember most, and you can bet the family farm that the answer will have something to do with über-ecologist David Suzuki. On the second day of the planned three day reunion, the sun shone down as the many grandchildren carelessly played Frisbee, volleyball and tag while waiting to have a go on the old tire swing that has become a fixture at the turn-of-the-century homestead. The ladies were busy shucking corn for the pig roast that would feed close to 75 people while the men sought out shade under the massive elms that dotted the property. The afternoon’s activities were to include a quick trip to the creek for a dip, a round on the small golf course cut into the hay field, some rides on the old Clydesdale and a baseball game.
According to one family member who wishes to remain anonymous for fear of recriminations,the afternoon was going “extremely well until Mr. Suzuki came and started asking who owned the Hummer parked in the drive.” No one knows where Mr. Suzuki exactly came from. One suggested that he just appeared out of thin air as if by some ecomagik. When no one owned up to the Hummer, Suzuki became agitated, starting up a chainsaw that had been sitting atop a few cords of hardwood. He proceeded to saw the Hummer in two.
“He made a real spectacle of himself. He acted like a danged fool. I think he thought we were going to drive Henry’s Hummer to the rainforest and burn up everything or something. He acted like a danged fool. Maybe he’s just really stressed out. Who can blame him. Maybe it’s the heat. It’s been brutal this year. Hottest summer on record.”
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