My Uncle Wallace is a wonderful mime, which is fine, considering he took lessons on his own time and not on my dime. He can mime and dine, and mime while sipping mime wine which is also an art that has to be nurtured over time. Uncle Wallace nails his mimes nine times out of nine. A big part of his success at being a truly convincing mime is his unfortunate inability to speak after having his vocal chords ripped out by an ape who could rhyme on command, on cue and on time. He settled out of court a total of six times, and was subsequently paid his weight in proceeds of crime, which again, suited him just fine. With the money he was able to buy three and a half used winter tires for his Econoline van. The end. That's it. Fin!
Next week - Wiki Leaks and a tonne of bullshit. Plus the 911 Commission Report explained in under ten words. The first word is bullshit. So is the second. And the jury's still out on the third word, but I'm thinking it will be the same as the first two.
I don't apologize for the short column. I do apologize for killing that panda on a dare. Especially since that panda was the last one on the planet. That was still pretty damned funny!
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