Where: U.S.A.
What: Almighty God now available in stores
Kids can now get the ultimate in action figures! Almighty God now comes with AK 47 and Holy Shroud to defeat his mortal enemies - namely Satan and Lapsed Christians. The omnipotent being sells for $9.99 and is available in white and blue. Bangus asked customers at Walmart what they think of him and comments ranged from “I thought he’d be taller” to “Get him to do something about this heat”
Where: U.S.A. Cape Cod
Police arrested a man who they believe has a devious sexual fetish for amputees. The man had befriended actress Renee Zellweger and evidence suggests he had been planning to take her snorkeling in the shark-infested waters off Cape Cod, Mass.
Where: Africa
Robert Mugabe has become the latest spokesman for Viagra from Pfizer. The aging dictator realized the little blue pill’s alternative potential after his wife died last year. Since then he says, he has saved hundreds by taking only a 25% dose. “It stops me peeing in my slippers” he said.
Where:Ireland
Paul Hewson, better known as Bono Vox has been immortalized in a giant statue in downtown Dublin. The front man from the Irish rock group U2 is depicted in a 50’ statue saving orphans and poor people in Africa and around the world. “The best thing about it, is that it only cost me a couple thousand” said the singer.
Where: Hollywood
Lilo has been released from Jail and is now participating in rehab said LA county sheriff Craig Whitstone. The “Mean Girls” actress definitely has to get a grip on her drinking problems. She is scheduled to christen a yacht at LA Harbour and organizers are worried that she won’t let go of the bottle.
Posts
